Sunday, February 22, 2015

I'm Not Looking Forward to a Good Night's Sleep

If you are lucky enough to have a cat live with you for almost 18 years, you are probably unlucky enough to have to make the decision to end their life. It's a Catch-22 that to have furbabies usually means they die before you, unlike most parents of humans. I have been blessed to have two cats in this category, and one of them is finally speaking to me in her telepathic way that the end is near. The more the fact sets in to my brain, the more I can't stop crying. I know from past experience that this pain is temporary, but it is still a horrible feeling.

I suppose I should be thankful to have had such a long time to spend with some cool cats. Age 18 is when human kids usually go away to college and start a life of their own. In my version of parenthood, I will never see my furbaby again, unless there is such a thing as the Rainbow Bridge.

They say you will know when it is time to let go. It's true, I've experienced the knowing. Right now, the knowing is setting in. She is fragile, arthritic, and skinny. The question is, do I make her suffer a bit longer? Is she even suffering? She is always so happy to see me and greets me with those green eyes, a hello meow, and deep purrs. How do I know the purring isn't the kind that soothes her own pain? These questions cause constant worry and wonder.

I rescued Paris in 1997. I lived in Rutland, VT in an apartment with my boyfriend and my other kitten Tinker. We lived next to a cat lady whose daughter just saved Paris from a farm. I mean cat lady in the best way, she rescued as many as she could and took great care of them. I visited with her often and she told me about Paris and I decided she would be a great sister for Tinker as they looked alike and were about a month apart in age. We brought her home and she fit right in.

From the very beginning, Paris has been a pain in the butt! She wakes me up all night long for food and is so persistent there is nothing I can humanely do about it. If anything, when her time comes, I will have a good night's sleep. I love her though, she is the sweetest, most loving cat ever and our connection is strong. I am the only human she loves and I am the only human that loves her. She has put up with six moves throughout the years and has never had any litter box issues. She has had hyperthyroid disease for years now and has done well on medication. She even accepted having dogs in the house, which is something I swore I'd never do to her, but it was never a problem.

After all we've been through together, I guess it's the difficulty of saying goodbye to one of my best friends and having to make the decision of when that happens. It doesn't seem fair at first, but I have to remind myself that I gave her a most amazing life, one which wouldn't have happened without me. I have to trust that when the time comes, I will know. With all these years behind us, I can't fail her now.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

My obsession for 2015

Wow, talk about a sporadic poster I am. I guess it's a time thing and a lazy thing. I am also scared that what I have to say is stupid. That in itself is stupid, but now that people are blogging all the time these days, it's interesting to think how many people might be in to your innermost thoughts. I suppose at first, not many people care, but what happens if you actually have something that draws people's attention? I like to think I have some good ideas and sometimes I like to share them with everyone I know. Maybe it's cocky of me to think that people care what is on my mind, but maybe I help someone out. I think that would make it worth it.

This year I have a goal. It has taken me far too long to get to this point, but I am finally here and ready to finish it. For basically my entire adult life, I've had credit card debt. I don't know how or when it started, but every month I allot a certain amount of my hard earned money and give it away. It seems like I've been doing this for so long that I became so used to it that I didn't care. Well, I've had enough!

Technically I have been working on this for a year already. In 2014, I decided to pay $500 on my highest interest rate card every month. I also promised myself that I would not use the credit card for anything. $500 is more than double what was due so I thought it would get paid off pretty quick. Well, it has taken what seems like forever to pay off. But, as of today, I only have $285 left!!! I can taste the end.

Next up is to start paying down the other card. Right now there is $12,143 left to pay. Seems daunting, but I know it will be gone this year with my insane diligence. I plan to pay $1000 every month and any extra money that I have will go towards the balance. I should be getting a settlement from my salmonella poisoning that is going straight to the debt. We are going to stay in more often for dinner and not take a vacation away from home this year. I even saved over $600 by switching auto insurance companies. All these little things will add up to my freedom from debt.

I have started following a blog called Mr. Money Mustache. He has an amazing philosophy that deep down I think I've always had, but never put into practice. It's a less commercial and more basic life that creates freedom in your mind from all the shit that gets shoved in front of it everyday. He managed to retire at 30 years old by never getting into debt and by being frugal. Before he knew it, he didn't have to work. I am forlorn that I didn't adopt this sooner, but I am starting now. Better late than never I suppose.

Beyond my credit card, all I have is our mortgage. There are 28 years left to that one! I went to my mortgage company's website and played around with the amortization calculator. If I take the $1000 that I am using to pay off my credit card and put it towards the mortgage starting next year, we will have it paid off in nine years! Isn't that crazy? I think I might do it! No credit card debt and no mortgage! I can't even imagine.

I hope this year's blog posts are more numerous. I'd like to keep track of my journey out of credit card debt and the ways I accomplish it. I know it's going to happen, I just have to push through. I might miss out on some things, but I think I will learn a lot about myself and I look forward to finding less expensive ways to have fun!

See ya later Chase!! I am chasing my freedom!!

buh bye.....